About three years ago, I had a breakthrough in my own personal growth that propelled my ability to serve as a more conscious leader. I attended a leadership conference where, as participants, we engaged in unpacking our self-limiting beliefs. It was an opportunity for us to move into a deeper place of awareness with the intent of interacting with others in a more productive fashion. It was also the first time I had spent a significant amount of time working to understand my triggers. We all have them. Triggers are those “things” that prompt a deep-seated memory, causing us to behave a certain way, not always productive.
For example, if an educator makes a statement communicating the inability of a child, it triggers a feeling of being devalued that I felt in middle school. In middle school, I had to wear a Milwaukee brace to try and stabilize my scoliosis. I withdrew and tried to become invisible. I was pretty successful as no teacher during my entire middle school experience worked to engage me in a meaningful way. So, when an educator makes a statement like this about a child, it triggers something inside of me. What I have learned is that this trigger is a problem only if my response to it creates a problem (e.g. responding to this educator in a negative manner).
How we choose to engage with others when we are triggered can become a conscious decision if we learn to engage with our environment in a place of awareness. Our triggers don’t go away, but how we respond to them can be a more intentional practice.
For me, a daily meditation practice helps me slow down my reaction time when triggered by my environment, affording me the space to engage with my environment in a healthier fashion. It has helped me be less impulsive; to slow down time, pause before speaking, and make a more considered choice, even in the most mundane circumstances. I love what Marshall Goldsmith writes, (author of Triggers), “We can make any impulse run in place for a brief moment while we choose to obey or ignore it”. Each of us has behaviors we would like to change. Learning and understanding how those behaviors are triggered is a powerful step towards improving one’s performance as a leader, a partner, a parent, a friend, or colleague. Awareness is a difference maker. Once we give ourselves this breathing room, we can then consider more desirable behavioral choices.
Comments