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Ruth S.

The Cracks in the Wall


Recently my sister was over for a visit and she shared something with me that left a lasting impression. She was sharing how she had noticed cracks in the walls of her home and wondered why she had never noticed them before. She had recently retired, and upon reflection she realized that this was symbolic of so much more than noticing the cracks. Those cracks had probably been there for years but she simply had not noticed them. For my sister, and me, this was a powerful moment. How often do I go through the agenda of my days without taking the time to be still and be aware of my surroundings, feel a deeper level of connection to the things and people around me? I don’t want to wait until my day isn’t filled with work to take the time to be still, observe, and engage with those things that matter.


I love this quote from Shauna Niequist author of Present over Perfect, “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and look back and realize the best thing about me was I was organized”. Fill in the blank…organized, on time, prepared. I want to be at the end of my life believing that I was present. One of my most recent significant “a-has” was discovered when listening to a presentation by John Gottman, a psychological researcher. John’s presentation was around building trust. He spoke about moments in time he describes as “sliding door” moments. To understand this best I will describe a moment in time with my significant other where I seized the opportunity to go through the sliding door. It was a workday night. I was in my office preparing for an upcoming presentation. My husband lets me know that dinner is ready. I hear him dish up and sit down to the table to eat. I really wanted to finish my presentation but I hesitated. He was at the table alone and I had a choice, stay at my computer or go sit with him and enjoy his company, the sliding door moment. I left my computer and enjoyed dinner, and time with my husband. What I have realized is that every single day provides me with opportunities to see the cracks in the wall or walk through the sliding door. It is up to me to seize those opportunities. Will I choose a life that ticks the boxes of being organized, prepared, on time, or will I choose a life of presence.

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